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Posters – Darwin’s Nightmare

A poster version of this week’s webcomic will be on sale soon, probably next week some time.

 

24-Hour Comic Day

The 24 Hour Comic Day is coming up on Saturday, October 3rd. The gist is that you should draw 24 pages of comics in 24 hours with out any planning. I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to go straight by the rules or if I’m going to try to work on Altsad pages during that period. I plan on starting at noon that day and going to noon on Sunday.

I’ll keep you posted as I make up my mind what I plan on doing.

Darwin’s Games in Review – DMG2 (part 1 of 3)

Having wrestled back the money Kevin borrowed from me for his smokey smokes I was finally able to get a hold of the new Dungeon Master’s Guide 2. You’d think he’d has been more grateful I was asking for the money, after all it is for a game he’s a player in.

This is going to be a three part blog entry focusing on what parts of the book I really liked, and showcasing my custom creations for use in your campaigns.
In the first part I’m showcasing a very real world Trap and a Terrain Power used in almost every game in the world, Kegs O’ Beer.
Traps
Nobody makes a better trap than me, they’re just like my plans except lacking Crayola and with a 22% better chance to spontaeously discombobulate their victims.
Kissing Kendra Monster                                                          Level 8 Elite Lurker
Trap                                                                                                         XP 700
A female monster is probably painting, or smelling, or something in the middle of the room. She is completely unresponsive, too busy listening to music, until a player comes with in 2 squares of her. At that point she turns around and charges the player, screeching something stupid, and trying to plan her lips of death upon them.
Trap: A summoned monster tries to kiss the player with acidic saliva lips.
Perception
  • DC 8: The woman looks to be evil and smelly.
  • DC 19: She’s listening to something, probably Death Metal, or Bane Metal in this case.
  • DC 24: You think the person next to you is dumb enough to walk up to the monster if you tell them it’s just an illusion and it’s harmless.
Trigger
A player, of any gender, steps to with in 2 squares of the monster.
Attack
Standard Action
Melee Target: The creature that was foolish enough to trigger the trap.
Attack: +11 vs. Fortitude
Hit: 2d6 + 5 acid damage as she tries to melt you with her goo-liva, and the target is automatically restrained by the woman (DC 25 to break her hold). Kissing Monster gains +2 to hit against anybody named Kevin.
Countermeasures
  • Characters named Darwin are automatically smart enough to make sure someone else triggers the trap.
  • She has Defenses of 10 and 20 HP, so kick the crap out of her already.
  • Sneak past her, DC 20.
  • Wear plastic acid proof lips.
Terrain Power
You’d a thunk they would have remember the best terrain feature in the world, kegs of beer. Alas they seemed to forget the one object found in the opening scene of 95% of all DnD games.
Kegs O’ Beer                                                                           At-will Terrain
Keg’s of beer sit behind the bar, perfect for players to smash over the heads of their enemies. You are about to commit the worst party foul of all time.
Standard Action
Requirement: You must be 21 or older to be behind the bar and standing adjacent to the stacks of Kegs.
Check: Strength (hard DC) check to pick up a barrel and Athletics (moderate DC) check to throw it, and a morality check (extremely hard DC) cause your wasting beer.
Success: The beer keg hits the target, busts open, and spills beer everywhere.
Target: 1 creature up to 4 squares away.
Attack: Level vs. Reflex (remember that both the target and the player may be drunk so add modifiers as necessary)
Hit: Target is pushed 3 squares, knocked prone and dazed (save ends both), and takes 5 points of damage. Player takes 1 point of crying damage over spilled beer.

Shades of Pink Kryptonite

Pink, it scares me, it really does. When pink became the new black, it also became my new Kryptonite. Now it doesn’t scare me when worn by people… well most people, it just scares me when used for decoration or for the purpose of decorating my body. At that point, I share Darwin’s response and freak out until the danger has passed, I’m at my weakest when exposed to shades of pink.

Fan count is going up each week, slowly but surely. A record breaking amount of people saw page 12 when it launched on Monday. It brings a smile to my face thinking that people are enjoying my comic. Some of the new readers are coming in from Webcomic List and Top Web Comics, two web comic lists where I’ve recently registered Altsad. Random visitors via search engines are still rare, but they are finding the website and through some very unusual search words. I have listed the most interesting ones below along with my interpretation of them.

Search Words Interpretation
action porn red shirt Some poor Trekkie was looking for porn and found my site.
barbarian background Obviously Altsad is synonymous with testosterone and things like swords, beer, and loin cloths.
countdown calendar to being a grandma Yeah… I don’t have anything for this one…
horror mojo Nobody knows the horror like Darwin, and nobody has produced it more in him than Kendra.
kendra caresses “I’m not sure what Kendra would be caressing outside of Kevin or a battery operated device.” – Darwin
ntense underwear Nope, that’s not a misspelling, at least not on my part. I’m glad to be part of the proud web sites who offers ntense underwear, it’s like a dream come true.

Banners are Weird

Only exception is Bruce Banner, he’s awesome.

I’m curious about what people think of pages that display banners. I’m not talking about ad banners, but linking agreement banners. You know, where sites show off each others banners in mutual friendship and agreement. Read more

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